You guys have to read this..........
This was sent to me by my cousin. It is a posting on craigslist. It is the funniest thing. I love it!
R-
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )For Sale on Craig's list: Read firstOK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available forpurchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it waspossible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow,this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up thatadorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. Itwasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No,that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're lookingfor, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it.Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in thehighest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheatsdeath on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boyamenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heatedleather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or OnStar (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super actionjunkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's gotspecial blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit inthe back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey,a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on whenyou're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatictransmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'llstill be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at thesame time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to thegym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch topull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also justput in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'llentertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up andtell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you aBurmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingeredeye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be theprettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from PlanetKickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carryyour name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged,no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double,then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or justchilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'lltalk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen toJohnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammerpants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants.Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on. Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org<http://webmail.austin.rr.com/do/mail/message/mailto?to=sale-945361858%40craigslist.org%3Fsubject%3DNINJA%2520HAULER%3A%2520%25202005%2520Nissan%2520Xterra%2520-%2520%2412900%2520%28Ronan%2520%2F%2520Lake%2520County%29> [?<http://webmail.austin.rr.com/do/redirect?url=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.craigslist.org%252Fabout%252Fhelp%252Freplying_to_posts> ]Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST
R-
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )For Sale on Craig's list: Read firstOK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available forpurchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it waspossible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow,this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up thatadorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. Itwasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No,that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're lookingfor, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it.Just stop. This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in thehighest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheatsdeath on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boyamenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heatedleather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or OnStar (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super actionjunkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's gotspecial blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit inthe back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey,a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on whenyou're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatictransmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'llstill be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at thesame time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to thegym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch topull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also justput in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'llentertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up andtell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you aBurmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingeredeye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be theprettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from PlanetKickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carryyour name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged,no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double,then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or justchilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'lltalk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen toJohnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammerpants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants.Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on. Reply to: sale-945361858@craigslist.org<http://webmail.austin.rr.com/do/mail/message/mailto?to=sale-945361858%40craigslist.org%3Fsubject%3DNINJA%2520HAULER%3A%2520%25202005%2520Nissan%2520Xterra%2520-%2520%2412900%2520%28Ronan%2520%2F%2520Lake%2520County%29> [?<http://webmail.austin.rr.com/do/redirect?url=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.craigslist.org%252Fabout%252Fhelp%252Freplying_to_posts> ]Date: 2008-12-04, 5:15PM MST
posted by Guinn Girls at
11:35 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home